Kickball Kickoff

Tonight was the kickball season's opening mixer at our sponsor bar, the Exchange. I got to meet our captain, Jen, plus a bunch of very nice people that will be my kickball teammates this year. Of course, Raf and Norm were representing so you know there were some obscenely hilarious jokes made about taboo topics. It remains to be seen if we will win any games this year (my career record is a lousy 2-18), however the team seems to made up of good people. Hopefully, by the end of the season we will have made some new friends.

Still Ill

While it is not the most exciting thing to read about, it's all I have. I feel that I am getting better. However, I am definately still ill. Congestion and sinus headaches come and go throughout the day. However their stregth is much diminished. One positive thing about being ill is that the work day goes by in a blur. Before I knew it it was 4pm, then 4:30, then 5pm, which is when I get to leave.

Slept the Weekend Away

I slept this weekend away, despite traveling to Philly to visit with the inlaws. With the exception of dinner (Japanese Steak House) and a movie (Incredibles) on Saturday I was asleep. How did I accomplish this feat? Not sleeping for three nights due to a troublesome cough prepared me for this weekend's marathon snooze session. Plus having cough medicine that knocks you out helps the process.

Sad on so Many Levels

The Schiavo case is getting a lot of attention and no doubt you are aware of it. Personally, I think the government has no business in this affair. Every morning I am relieved to read that the Republicans/Bush/Florida's efforts will be yield no constitutional fruit. My heart goes out to the Schindler's for having to watch their daughter leave them twice, however they are in the wrong here.

If something good can come from this terrible situation, it is the awareness of a will. Everyone should have one. I don't, but I am currently reading about how to prepare one. If you don't have a will, please, please, please get one. If you don't know where to start, start here. With that I hope that you live a very long and exceptionally healthy life.

Marriage Club

Due to the previously mentioned illness, I bailed from work on Thursday, anticipating my cousin's wedding this weekend. As a groomsman, I had certain responsibilities such as 1) show up to the rehearsal on Friday night and 2) moving around various points in Maryland. Not as complicated as the responsibilities of the groom or even that of the best man. Still, being sick saps my energy for 'tasks' and transforms them to monsterous inconveniences. While my best efforts at recuperation didn't wipe out the illness, it did hold it in check well into Saturday evening, when I finally threw in to towel and left the reception early. Overall, the wedding was a joy. Certain parts of the ceremony and the reception were bittersweet due to strained relationships between various relatives; still it was heart-warming to have the whole family together in one place, having a joyous time. The night had an air reminiscent of childhood - summers in Pennsylvania, laughing, bonding, being family, and more importantly, being friends. That doesn't happen very much now that we are older; and that's okay. Still, events like last night make past times sweeter and always a welcome pleasure to revisit and reinterpret.

Not Well

I am feeling a bit under the weather today. It started early this morning so I am a bit exhausted this evening. Not that illnesses are ever convenient, but this comes at a particularity poor time. This weekend is my cousin's wedding, of which I am in the wedding party. It would be best if I was 100% this weekend as I expect there to be a lot of last minute 'changes' to the wedding plan.

So, yeah, getting sick. Unmotivated. Bye.

Mom's Home

Mom has returned from overseas. She back for a cousin's wedding and some eye surgery. While that my not seem like a vacation being, back in the states is better than going to work in minus 16 degree temperatures, she says. She is already spoiling the wife and I. She bought us Chinese take out, gave me money for my cousin's bachelor night, and went food shopping for us when we were too tired to go.

As mentioned above, this weekend was my cousin's bachelor party. We got him liquored up and girled up at a strip club in Baltimore. Those girls must have worked him over because by 11pm, when we left for the next club, he was passed out in the back of the limo.

This was my 1st time in a strip club. It wasn't all that for me. Being married to a wonderful woman puts you in a different place. Still, it was one more thing to cross of the 'been there, done that list'. I enjoyed the view, but hung back with my future brother-in-law. I did meet some cool people, whom I will see again this weekend at my cousin's wedding. Plus I got to stay out & awake till 5am, which hasn't happened since Christmas Eve 2001.

Highs & Lows

I am making things very stressful at work. I experience these euphoric highs and panic-stricken lows of self-confidence. There are days when I walk into work half expecting a notice of termination on my desk. That is curious because I've yet to be given any explicit criticism about my work. However on such days I am always looking for veiled threats or hidden criticism about my abilities. I have my theories on why I get these mood swings about my profession, however I am loath to say, for fear that if I speak it, it will be true.

My quarterly review is approaching. I am actually looking forward to it. In my current state I feel that I can't correctly gauge how valuable my work is to the company. I find that alarming because it means I am losing my objectivity; my control. That is not good.

Ruminations

Recently, I was privy to a conversation when one person accused another of lying. The liar wasn't a nefarious liar, they just lied in order to make themselves more appealing in the eyes of adults. I wasn't all that impressed with this accusation because I believe that everyone adds some embellishment to their stories. Even more so when they wish to impress someone of great importance in their lives.

This conversation jogged a topic I have been thinking about. Too often I seek the approval of certain people in my life. Looking back, even as recently as this week, I often seek validation from older men, typically those in some position of authority. I can't say exactly why I do this. It could be that my father passed away just after I turned 19. Three years later, my grandfather passed away. Before I could prove my independence in the real world I lost the two men who most influenced my upbringing.

However, I am not interested in the 'why'. I am simply interested in stopping this trend. In most cases I seek out people that have no business nor no interest in validating my life. Rarely do I receive what I am foolishly seeking.

So go easy on the young ones, I say. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Destruc-O-blog

Blogger ate my post last night. I've been overdue for such an inconvenience, especially since this has only happened to me one other time. I would be annoyed if the post was any good. However it was your general 'weekend wrap up' post that I pawn off on my readership after a lack of posting.

It's not worth typing again but I wanted you to know that I tried. I promise a more insightful post on Wednesday

Sewer Cats

Last week I discovered that two felines ( one cat, one kitten) live in the sewer system of our development. Since it is so cold outside the sewer is probably the best (warmest) place for them to be right now. Which is why I am conflicted about befriending them and, ultimately, capturing them and turning them over to the pound. What I am afraid of is if I do succeed in rescuing them they would be too wild to be domesticated. Typically, if that happens then the pound would be forced to destroy them. So what is better: living in the wild, seeking shelter in the sewers or the chance to live indoors under the care and attention of loving people? Who's to say they are not better off being let alone?